Looks like I missed the obligatory Mother’s Day post. No great epiphanies to share from dawn’s breaking to dusk’s closing except that I really do value my mother a hundred fold, now that I’ve become one myself. But then everyday would be THE day to know this. Nonetheless, Mother’s Day merits some form of appreciative gesture; a phone call, a Facebook shout out, cheesy Hallmark card, or an iTunes gift card. It’s during these days that make it difficult to be 7,764 miles away from your mother when all you want to give her - to express your gratitude for giving you life, loving you and raising you - is a hug. It doesn’t help that she’s resistant to the internet either. So much for Skype. Or email.
So. What is it like to be a new mother?
Tiring. Rewarding. Often times I feel like I’m running on instinct and is probably the most that I’ve trusted myself; my body, my mind, and what I am capable of handling. All it takes is a smile (like I always say) but more often than not Mandarin sticks her tongue out on the corner of her mouth and I’m done. My-sappy-heart-is-melting - done. Sooner or later we all discover these soft spots; the twinkle in her eye, that naughty smirk...nothing like a dose of silliness to tug at those heartstrings.
Frustrating: when I feel like I can’t get it right. The laundry’s piled up, dishes unwashed, meals to be cooked, toys on the floor, rooms to clean, vacuum and swiffer through. It can get chaotic, but when all things are lined up and everything is in harmony, well, let’s just say I will dance with the spunk of a flash mob in Grand Central station when I’m happy.
Sentimental and weepy. Everyday.
Gratifying. Truth be told, there is a sense of pride knowing that you’re raising your daughter the best possible way you can. And loving her with as much love as your heart can fill.
The quiet and poignant ripples of inexplicable JOY.
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