When my family is here (visiting), I allow my heart to expand to its fullest capacity to make sure that all needs are met, all requests are granted and all days are happily spent. And while it is extremely rewarding it is also just as exhausting - with a one year old nonetheless that has the sugar rush energy of a candy bar.
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| MY ONE YEAR OLD! I'm so proud of her! ♥ |
Amidst the joy of having Mandarin turn one so many things go into a day with her that I need to remind myself to be present.
Which now, as I write the word present I am brought into this moment of being with her and realize it is the next best gift (after a mother's love) I can give her. To simply be with her without having to split my mind into a thousand multi-tasking drones.
Because when days feel like a routine-heavy program with no override command and thus cannot be disabled, I can easily lose a day in schedules. Wake. Play. Puree fruit for baby. Breakfast. Feed. Dishes. Laundry. Bath time. Nap. Prepare Lunch. Eat. Dishes. Diapers. Head out with visiting family. Play. Coffee. Diapers. Milk. Dinner. Diapers. Sleep??
Never mind if you’re tired or have a headache or that you’re not getting enough sleep at night because for some odd reason Mandarin wants to climb and lie on top of me in the middle of the night or deflate Daddy’s left lung with high kick, mid-snore at 4am.
Never mind if you’re tired or have a headache or that you’re not getting enough sleep at night because for some odd reason Mandarin wants to climb and lie on top of me in the middle of the night or deflate Daddy’s left lung with high kick, mid-snore at 4am.
Be present.
Such, is the joy of co-sleeping. I do constantly get to smell her, which I LOVE (because i’ve been addicted to her baby scent since birth). And I do love waking next to her.
That's right. Be present.
That's right. Be present.
Still, in spite of it all, off day or not there are priceless rewards. In the way Mandarin responds to my parents, how she loves them and the quiet and loud moments they share together. And in the way she makes them laugh. That’s priceless. There goes my heartstrings. Pulled past sappy sentimentalism.
Then there is THE party. Today at 1pm! The birthday party which I am terrified no one will show up in because no one rsvp’s anymore and even if I’ve estimated an X amount of guests and ordered an X amount of food I somehow feel I’m in for a surprise. I am lost in the rambling details of party trays, decorations, japanese tissue paper, tape and glue.
Thank you, Vintage Ice Cream Parlor idea for driving me waaay past the delineation of crazy. I have a few hours to execute my daughter’s first birthday party. I’m excited to celebrate with friends and family and a little anxious because I’ve never held a party with so many details before - and not as important and meaningful as my daughter’s.
The small calm oasis in me tells me that it should all be good. Keep calm and carry on. On the flip side and as an offshoot of this party I do have two DIY posts lined up! Coming up soon when if sanity settles back into the household.
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