Not exactly my idea of a celebratory new year's eve - and day.
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| Lunch and Dinner of watered down coffee and a cold PB & J sandwich c/o the hospital vending machine because the cafe was conveniently closed on weekends. The Kindle never fails to entertain. |
It came out of nowhere. The sharp pain in his abdomen that shortly followed our Skype calls with family in Manila. It was twenty minutes to midnight there and almost eight in the morning here. The fog had just barely lifted and the sun was slow and steady in its waking. It was a peaceful and reflective start to the last day of the year.
I made breakfast (festive holiday pancakes of snowmen and christmas trees) carefully scaling down my recipe to accomodate only two servings instead of the usual four. Leftover pancakes are no good. Hubby couldn't eat, writhed in pain and decided to head back upstairs to sleep it off. What we initially thought was the stomach flu, indigestion, and at some point a urinary track infection turned out to be appendicitis. Too see someone you love in pain is pain inflicted on yourself just the same. Of course it took 17 hours before we figured this out and finally decided that the ER was the best place to be. Blood tests, a CT scan and the best indicator yet - a hand poking around the abdomen to make you feel, Yeah, that's an inflamed appendix you got there.
This is all new territory for both of us. He's never been hospitalized before, and I've never seen him so helpless in all our 15 years together. It was difficult being in the waiting room alone. There was literally no one there with me except crickets, possibly a tumbleweed rolling across the filthy hospital carpet with dust trailing behind it and my racing thoughts of worst-case-scenarios. The procedure which only took a little over an hour seemed like a five hour wait. I get nervous like that. I paced around the hallway wondering which door my Hubbs would come out of that I unknowingly and conveniently hung around long enough just in time for a middle aged nurse with a warm smile to come out and call my last name.
"The doctor will be out to speak with you."
She's smiling so it must have gone well. Look at her eyes. Smiling. Good.
A few seconds later, the doctor walked out the thick swing doors like a rockstar strutting back on stage for her encore performance. Confident and happy. She actually took a picture of Hubbs' appendix and graciously shared it with me - I would have set it nicely on Instagram and shared, but knew better that vintage looking filters still won't amp the cool factor of an inflamed internal organ. An appendectomy is a standard hospital procedure, not exactly your hardcore medical variety, and hundreds of it are probably performed everyday, but there is still a very short percentage of things going wrong in the operating room. I was so relieved when the nurse walked out smiling.
Now that we've all taken a breath and it's all recuperation and recovery from this point on, I must admit that celebrations are in order. Sometimes we are faced with situations that run against what we believe is how things should be, such as, this is how a holiday should be spent and that everything else that contradicts that would be considered a cessation of all things good and happy.
This was not my idea of a celebratory start button for the year, but it was a damn good way of making the essential things come into view, setting the tone for the months ahead. To be thankful for life and to celebrate it in every possible way I can. Thankful for family (who would take care of your daughter, no questions asked - in spite of exhaustion and sleep deprivation, who will pick you up, drop you off, and bring things to the hospital for you when you need them). Thankful for excellent doctors and wonderful nurses. Thankful for friends who sincerely care about you.
This new year brought an alternate view to celebration. There is much more to applaud and commemorate in it that than a silver, shiny ball dropping at midnight and the clink of champagne glasses.
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